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Question:Ladies, do you become angry/jealous if your boyfriend goes to a party?
If my gf is working, or her mother won’t let her out that night (she is 18, a senior in high college this year), or maybe she is hanging out with one of her buddies that night. Whatever the case may be where she wouldn’t be able to hangout with me that night I occasionally would like to go to a party but she becomes EXTREMELY angry and jealous at the thought of me at a party without her. She for some reason thinks I’m going to flirt with another woman or get with another woman or something but I don’t understand why because i have never done anything for her not to trust me. And another thing is I think because sometimes women try to flirt with me when I’m at work or other females may tell her I’m sexy or something, she feels she has to try and put me down. She will play it off like I’m not that attractive or make comments to make me feel self conscious so I start to doubt myself or something. She is a VERY beautiful girl, I mean flawless almost, but she has some problems mentally that i’m not sure can be over come. Does she actually think I’m not that sexy or is it just because other women say that I am that causes her to say those things? Also, do any other women get angry when their boyfriend goes out or has a nice time? I don’t understand
- What other people have answered:
- #1 Ashton C
I don’t get angry because I trust him. And most of the time, we end up going to parties together.
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0- #2 LastDance
Honestly, I’m the same way. It is a form of insecurity and it almost ruined my relationship with my fiance. I had to learn to….let go a bit.
And no, she doesn’t think you’re unattractive. I, too, did that with my fiance. The thing is, we don’t want you to think you could get any woman and that every woman thinks you’re attractive. She’s putting you down to make you think you’re not as great as you think you are, or they think you are. She probably adores the hell out of you. But it’s an unhealthy compulsion. She’ll never be able to get over it entirely, but she will learn to let go a little and be loose about it. It was extraordinarily hard for me. Girls like her, and me, are very scared of being left and will never trust you completely and almost always expect the worst so we aren’t so hurt when you give the worst.
Be sensitive with her. I promise she knows she’s being irrational but that doesn’t matter to her. Protecting her heart matters to her. If you go to a party, you could do all sorts of stuff in her head. My biggest irrational fear is my fiance desiring a girl’s body more than he desires mine and leaving me for her. Maybe hers is similar. Maybe she’s scared you’ll see someone more attractive or someone sexy and funny that you want a chance with.
Honestly, she can’t completely help it. It’s a very painful thing. I’m sorry you’re having this problem. But I can say it’s something a lot of partners have trouble with. Almost every single one of my buddies has gone through this with their serious partners. And often it causes the end of the relationship, but also, it can make you guys stronger and her trust for you will grow and you’ll both be happier.
Just be gentle with her and understand that she’s really just protecting herself, but let her know that sometimes she has to let you be you and trust that you won’t hurt her.
Good luck.Good Advice or Bad Advice:
0 0- #3 babigurl745
She does this because she loves you and is scared of losing you to another girl. She is afraid that you might cheat on her. Even though she trusts you, she is either scared that you might cheat on her (just cus of the stereotypes we see about guys all over the media lol), or that you might meet a woman that is better than her that you might start to have feelings for. She doesn’t want to have the thought of losing you, and by going to parties and stuff she is forced to be worried about that.
Also, yeah I also get jealous. The thing is, with me and my ex.. I got jealous but I never said anything, i just let him go and never complained. However, that was one of the reasons why I ultimately left him.
You are lucky she is at least comfronting you about this because it shows that she cares enough to even bother telling you.She obviously thinks your cute, she is just scared that someone might take you away. Assuring her that nothing will happen can make her feel better, but it won’t change how she feels. So long as she loves you she will always care that your going out without her. That’s just how it is, if you really care about her you will either stop going to the parties or go to them less, or you will learn to accept the fact that she will complain every time you go because she is simply worried about losing you.
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0 0- #4 aod
I do not get angry or jealous if my BF goes to a party with out me, especially if I am busy. I hate being the domesticated type where my lfe revolves around him. I like being able so spend time alone and with my friends, and he can do the same. I trust him as much as I can trust any guy, If he cheats he knows I am gone, and I know if I cheat he is gone. We have an honest relationship where we tell each other things, that may hurt the other person. I think that if there is that much of an issue already then once it gets more serious it will be a major issue. If the roles were swithced, many guys would tell her to leave because you are showing signs of being hurtful in the future.
I have actually sent my BF off to be with his friends, and told him to go. Its only fair if you both can do it.
I think she may say it to get your thoughts going so you think that she is the best you can get, and that you do not deserve her. but she is with you so she does think you are cute.Good Advice or Bad Advice:
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