Storytelling is mainly going to be used when you’re with the group. If you do it in isolation she’s going to think you’re bragging. The point of a story is to embed DHVs to make yourself look good. You’ll tell the story to the obstacles in the group so the target can hear.

Below is one of the stories that I really enjoy telling. I’ll annotate throughout (in italics) so you know what’s going on. Finally, make up your own stories. Don’t use this one unless you really have nothing else because it will be tough to stay congruent, especially at the end when they’re asking you questions. Plus, genuine stories have so much more of your personality in them.

———————————————–Beginning————————————————

“Do you guys remember your first jobs?”

I’ll get responses like:
“Yes”
“Yes, (they talk about their first jobs)”
“Yes, why?”
If they say “no” I say (which happens very rarely, if it does it’s because they’re not interested)
“Wait… you can’t remember your first job!? What, were you high the whole time?”

If they say one of the yes responses I wait until they’re done and then I say

“Well mine was fucking crazy. When I was 15, I went to a training course to become a lifeguard (DHV, I was only 15 and training to be a lifeguard). It was four hours, once every week, for ten weeks. It took a hell a long time and was a bitch to complete but I’m never one to drop something I start (DHV). So I got to meet a bunch of new people, which is always fun (DHV, showing that I’m social), and of course I learned all the things you need to know to be a lifeguard.
So after the training I get hired full-time for the City of (my city here) (minor DHV, hired full time). And you know, the first day of work really wasn’t as awkward as I thought it would be. I met some very cool people. Of them, there were a couple people who stuck out the most.

In the story I’d use their real names, but for online purposes I’m making them up. When you talk about your friends you need to show that they were cool people. If your friends suck, you suck by association.

There was Joe, one of the funniest guys I’ve ever met (who was obsessed with ninjas), and Tom and Aaron who were both concession workers. They were the guys I hung out with the most.
The whole summer was amazing. There were so many outrageous things we did (DHV), but one tops them all. You see, we had an off day when almost no one was at the pool. It was cold enough so that no one would come, but warm enough that we had to stay open. When no one is there a lot of the guards have extended breaks, so I happen to have a whole hour and a half to sit around. I’m talking and joking around with Jean and Tiffany (minor DHV, talking with girls), two other guards, when I hear Tom saying he’s “so bored.” So I’m like well, “I know how to make a dry ice bomb, let’s do that” (minor DHV). I tell Tom he’s coming with me to Hyvee, and that Joe and Aaron will set it off (DHV, telling the guys what to do, showing I’m the leader). Haha, we were always looking for a thrill (DHV).
We run to Hyvee, grab the ice, throw it into a cooler that I had in my car for God knows what reason, get back to the pool, and bring it inside. I have just enough time to show Joe and Aaron how to prepare everything (minor DHV, teaching them) and then I have to go lifeguard. So I see them sneaking around for about 5 minutes and then nothing happens. It’s been almost 10 more minutes and no sign of them. So I’m thinking “what’s going on, where are they?” Because it only takes like 5 seconds to throw the ice in and throw on the lid. So then, all of a sudden like a bat out of hell, Aaron comes fucking flying through the front entrance followed closely by Tom. They sit in two chairs near the office and I’m sitting there thinking in my head “ah shit, ah shit, when’s it gonna explode?,” because if you’ve ever made a dry ice bomb you know that it takes a bit for it to go off. So they sit down and about 30 seconds later I hear the loudest fucking boom I’ve ever heard. It was absolutely colossal. Joe is walking out towards me and Tom and Aaron are sitting down, and they’re all laughing hysterically. The 3 people who’ve come to the pool have priceless expressions on their faces, I’ve got a grin on my face from ear to ear and I know most likely what’s going to happen next, but I don’t care, I’m too stoked from how awesome the ice bomb was.
We then proceed to all get called into the office fired one by one. I could tell the other guards were sad to see us go (DHV) and I still miss it from time to time. God, what a great time we had up there. You know, it’s funny, I remember being on the phone with the head head boss, and having her tell me off, but I just tuned her out and still had that grin on my face (DHV, being unaffected).

Afterwards we all went to see Spiderman 2. It fucking rocked.

————————————————-Ending————————————————–

I really like this story because for one I enjoy telling it, it’s one of my favorites, but also because it leaves them asking so many questions which lead to more DHVing.

I’ll get questions like

“Did you ever have to save anyone?”
“You were only fifteen when you were a lifeguard!?”
“You said you learned all the lifeguard stuff. What was it?”
“What were the other crazy things did you did there?”
“You got to just leave and go to Hyvee!?”
“How’d you learn to make a dry ice bomb?”

All of which have great answers or other stories I can tell.

Like I said, don’t use this story unless you really don’t have anything else. Not only because it’s unoriginal, but you’ll have a hard time answering the questions afterwards. When you make your story make it interesting and filled with DHVs. You don’t have to memorize them word for word either, this one changes everytime I say it, because it’s just too long for me to take the time to memorize. Be sure that when you tell a story you’re very animated and enthusiastic about it.

By the way, this story takes a long time and I usually only use it if I know I’m going to be stuck with the group for a while.